MY JOURNAL

October 11th.11pm

I am finally home, it has been a difficult few days. I had an allergic reaction to Morphine which caused me to go out of my head a bit. I am trying to just tell myself.."soon it will be better" The pain is there, but at times worst then others. I am drinking pear juice. which seems to be doing okay.

While in the hospital I got these gagging fits, no one really sure why but they happened. Now I gag when the intence pain hits.

First night home. I managed to actually roll over and sleep on my left side , the surgery site. I have 5 little holes. One on the left side is the worst for me. It was where they put all the tools in the Doctor said.

I am really pleased with the care I got at the Nuffield hospital. 100 percent top notch quality care. well done you lot.

Anyone reading this is getting ready to have the surgery. Know that it is painful but just for a little while. soon the pain will go, and things will resolve. I keep telling myself that.. this is part of the adventure



OCT 12TH, 2004

It is 22.36pm. Been an angony all day,

I did manage to eat today..Yipeee.

3 spoons of sugar free jello this morning.

3 oz of Tomato soup (cup of soup) brand.

3 glasses of Apple juice through out the day

about 3 oz probably of mashed potatoe *instant* mixed in with an Oxo Cube. It sounds discusting but you know what, I kept it down, and it filled the need to eat.
I'm gonna have a glass of water before bed and then lay down for the nite.

I've slept most of the day, took a shower the morning I thought I was gonna die before getting out of the shower, The pain is really intence. I think some of that is my arthritis pain. but I haven't taken any pain killers today..but bank on it, I will tonight.

Good nite.


OCT 15TH. 2004

Had a very bad night. Did not sleep well at all, pain was shooting all around my body. about 5am I finally got up and moved to the couch with assistance from my husband.

Today it is now just gone 9.30 I feel very groggy, my legs feel like they weight 100 pounds each. but I will press on. My mood is sorta okay. just waiting for some weight loss. it will take time.

Got my follow up appointment with Mr Dexter. on the 30th of November. hopefully by then there will be progress. Today I am going to go do a bit of errons, not much but I need to get up and get out or I will not move at all.

Moving is the key...so time to get off my keester and get going. have a good day.

OCT 15TH CONTINUE

Well guess what..

I went to the GP's office jumped on the scales.

128 Kilograms.

I'VE LOST 5 KILOGRAMS WHOOHOOO



That is about 8 pounds in US measurements.

YAHOOOOO, YIPPEEEE....

OCT 18TH,2004

I went for a weigh in at the Doctor's office

AND YOU KNOW WHAT !!??

I have lost a stone in weight

Total weight lost thus far is.
17pounds.

Yeeeehaw.

Seriously though. that is in 1 week..can you belive it.

OCT 24TH, 2004

I did a major no no last night, had to push my luck. I cut up a little peice of steak. added a bit of soy sauce and flash fried it in a pan no fat in pan.

got out the handy dandy puree tool. and blitzed it. and you know what it wasn't half bad. Being causous I only had a few bites. It worked. I didn't get sick..but I don't advice other people to do this..I'm going back on softs today..


I jumped on the scales today and I am 123 Kilos.

Woohooo another 5 pounds lost.


Last night I ate pureed mash potato and swede and cabbage. and I had a frozen juice ice cycle for dessert.

Mental state today..is alot better then what it has been. I am still in a bit of discomfort but it is from the surgery site.. Just gotta remember to get up and move... more I love the more things will move , and maybe no more constipation

OCT 28TH, 2004
Today has not been the greatest of days. I have a "fatty cyst" on my left side that has absessed a few times in the last 18 months..well for the last 3 days it decided to absess again.

I went to the GP, he sent me to A&E to see the surgical team and guess what...didn't see them.
So I got fed up and came home. I'll just fix it myself once again and see the GP once it is better to be removed. I am finding the local A&E to be somewhat of a bother, and to say the least a nusence. Good people , but the system just keeps failing.

ANYWAY...I went grocery shopping yesterday..and for the first time in months I think I bought enough groceries for the month.. I bought little fruit packages, usually used for lunches but they'll do for a meal for me. Little packets of lunch meat I can puree..and I had fish pie..homemade fish pie last night..wow was it delicious. Only had 4 spoonfuls but you know what.. I get full..For the first time today I started to realize I need to eat little and often. about every 2 hours..and couple of spoonfulls..and talking very small spoon fulls, babysize infact.. and I'm full. I am living the adventure. I only have 2 more pounds to go before I have reach exactly 2 stone weight loss. This whole thing is very challanging but you know what..in a few short months..all these aches and pains will be a distant memory and I will be on the road to "Getting my life back"

I got also vitimins from the GP.. my B12 injections start in December.

Calcium tablets which i will have to break down and put in something to digest. and a multi vitimin ..which I must confess ..tastes yucky to chew up..but you're reading about someone who use to chew asprins.
These vitimins and tablets and stuff I'll be taking the rest of my natual life. But price you pay to be thin.

Nigel my husband...I just want to take a moment and say Thanks babe for being so supportive and helping me threw a very emotional rollercoaster..and if our marriage lives threw these next few difficult months..I think it will last threw anything.

8TH of November 2004

I know I haven't written in a few days. Been updating the site and doing bits and bob's
TO my surprise..I am now 113 Kilos.
WENT to the GP's office today to get weighted and I am 113 Kilos
49 Pounds lost
START 134 KILOS
TODAY 113 KILOS

TARGET 52 KILOS.

Slowly on soft solids. Eating a few bites of chicken
Soups, Mashed or pureed Veg
Pita bread is NOT a good thing.

When you eat the wrong things..this diet sure does kick your backside.
Sick, pain, sick, wishing you were dead, sick some more and then you go..OK..we won't eat that for a while.

14TH OF JAN 2005

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

Start of a new year and a new life !

Nigel, my husband is back to work. I'm currently looking for a job. Yep that's right I'm looking for employment
I've lost 55 pounds and have had some ups and downs along the way. Suffering alot with anxioty and panic attacks and unsure why really.
I've lost 55 pounds so far /3 1/2 stone. Really pleased with that. I'm now about to fit into a size 28 Jeans which I haven't seen in 2 years.
I'm also fitting into 2XL Sweat pants, All these clothes I kept because I figured one day I'll get this weight off and It has happened.

A bit frightened
Today my blood sugar was 9.9. In British diebetic  meter that is not very good.  3.5 to 6 is normal
I've been feeling rather weak, and called the doctor, who isn't avaliable ..typical..but talked to one of the other doctors who said
Cut down on sugar intake, and come in for blood test next week. Well that's fine..but I'm not eating excess sugar then what is in the foods already IE fruit and things. and doesn't help me at the moment from feeling aweful. I haven't been eating much lately , because why eat if you're not hungry.
I know I have to force myself to get some food down. But I really am not Hungry. Doesn't help the already depressed one.

Looking foward to the New Year
We've (my hubby and myself) have decided that this year we're going to do loads of activities. Camping and other things like that
My mom is coming over in May and I really cannot wait to see her. This time she'll be coming over for a good visit instead of just seeing the inside of a hospital. Last time she was here, I had a lite stroke.

So to everyone out there thinking about having the surgery. Research it..and do not let anyone tell you "It's an easy way out" Because It is NOT easy.